Disclaimer : ” I dont intend to hurt anyone’s sentiments by writing this post. I must make myself clear ,one thing, although I have managed to write the incidents , it isnt right in anyway, any manner to proclaim that I was the only person who did all things. There are many of them , who deserve a mention here and have done more to save Prasad. Any such evidence or feeling, in my post is purely co-incidental and unintended. “

NOTE : It was so frustrating to know that ,newspapers included their own story and did not consider a bit , the value of HUMAN LIFE. Now I know ,how Goan newspapers just vie for crap info and print without interrogating. Factually speaking Navahind Times had reported the worse, Prasad jumped from 75 feet, and remaining 15 students went into water again. How could you’ll be so inhumane ??? Man we just lost a life here ….and you’ll are playing with us?? The news and print media is a medium to help out bring out the problems faced by common man. The Journalism of courage and TRUTH must be top priority.I urge the newspaper editors to take the responsibility.

“Death continues to stalk us ….

Sometimes gently, mostly not …

I’m at the age when loved ones die …

And I understand as I live why ….. “

Tell you all a thing,that you ought to know, two minutes of your time, then you go …… go…… go…..

I cant seem to get the right words in here , but I strive to pour out all my thoughts as I feel the shadows play in my mind ….

Today ,its exactly a week since I last saw one of my dear friend …

14th April 2007, the day which revived me to learn, know, feel, experience , live the so called vagaries of LIFE …

14th April 2007,the day when I lost my beloved and dear friend, Prasad Prabhu , in an uncalled for and tragic incident, to GOD …

prasadq.jpg

Prasad Prabhu, a final year Electronics & Telecommunication Engg student from our college, with just 2 weeks remaining for the last sem of our engineering life , has left for HEAVENLY ABODE …

The day started for me as any day , got up early to leave for a trek organised by NATURE CLUB of our college (GEC). The place decided upon was Netravali , located in Eastern Goa , Sanguem Taluka.

Enthusiastically I left my hostel room at 7:30 AM to main building where we were supposed to gather for trek. I saw Prasad Prabhu and Ashish Pednekar standing near bike stand , the block just before main building. I turned my way to meet both …who were talking and ..smiling as I neared them. I greeted with my hands and talked for about half an hour with them …

When college bus was about to leave, we climbed into bus and Ashish n Prasad were standing just next to me … we were on our way now …..

I offered a seat later afer sometime , to Prasad and Ashish , to sit , but they chose to stand …and we went along ….talking ….laughing … the whole time in bus ….
After journey of 1 & 1/2 hrs we reached at place where we had to decide which direction to take to waterfall …

Mainapi Waterfalls : 9 kms ,

Savari Waterfalls : 3.5 kms,

BudBud Tali : 1km,

Datta Mandir : 1 km.

We chose to go the long route to Mainapi waterfalls …..

So here we were walking along the stream by our side, towards the waterfall ….on rocks …

I walked behind the guide and Shailesh was right behind me, and right behind him was Prasad ……walking with us the whole journey of trek ….

As Prasad saw me writing on a page he asked me what is it that I am writing … I replied ” for Blog re ..“

We neared the waterfall and I was ecstatically running fast to reach the place FIRST …. while running I fell in one of the rocks and and Prasad helped me up ….. I had the page in my pocket now …I was wet …. I told Prasad to remove it from my pocket… he said “ sure …“, he asked if he can read what I wrote till now … I laughed back and said ” why not … “

I told him I shall go further …and I ran again …..

I did reach the fall first, and went straight into waters ….it wasnt deep at all nearby ……. the water was very cold …..little did I knew then, that this would be the place …………..

Others reached in sometime, and I was like waiting for Prasad, Ashish , Shailesh to come by ….so that I could also make them feel the chillness of the water ……

When they did come near , I dragged Ashish in first , collected water in both hands and splashed the water onto his chest ….and he was like “oooh … so cold…“. Then Prasad’s turn ….splashed all over him …..back …chest ..face. He said “ wait re ,lemme come in atleast ..brrrrrrrr “

Rashmi,Uma, Neha joined in ….. Shailesh chose to come in later …but here we were enjoying to fullest ….splashing water on each other and talking about surroundings …….

It was around one hour that we were in water. Lunch was being served …and I was so damn hungry …..

I said to Ashish n Prasad that I and Shailesh are going to have lunch, they told to go ahead ….. so we moved on …
After lunch when we come back , I hear that something bad …that Ashish was saved from drowning, I said “ My God ” and saw him sitting nearby …phew !!!

As I neared him, I saw Rashmi sitting nearby alone , she asked Shailesh ,” where’s Prasad ,can you bring him to have his lunch? he didn’t have yet …“

Well Shailesh was confused now , Prasad was supposed to be with them, as we two had only left ….. I was behind , and Shailesh asked me the same ….. I replied ” I dont know …..“

Then we hear from Rashmi that she also came out , sometime after we left ….. now this stings us …..

“ where’s he now ? “

Search began , we thought he might have gone to answer nature’s call ….so backtracked to the way we came to the falls to search him nearby …….

“ Prasad …… Prasad …………………Prasad ……………..Prasad …. “

no reply ….. Shailesh,Yogesh n me got down the rocks and shouted again ….

again no reply ….

We walked back to falls to tell others he’s not to be seen nor heard behind …

now frantic ….. we strained to see if Prasad was in the line of sight ,amongst all others …

nowhere to be seen ….

some of my classmates had climbed the small hill and were seen .. we shouted aloud and asked if Prasad was with them ….. “ no “

we had to check the worst and last of all the doubts we had in our mind …. did he drown ???

I swear ,this was unthought of , but then we had to check out ….

The situation was tense …… speculations ripe that he might have drowned …

Those who knew swimming got in to find out ….they were checking out all places ……. no sign yet ……..

In between we hear a cry …… I turn to see Audhut from our class screaming with fear in his eyes ……. ” hanga asa …hanga asa …..pay laglo tejo …… hanga asa …..“

Everyone stood in silence …. wondering if what they heard was indeed true ……..

The others were quickly thinking of removing him out of water … Audi then went underwater completely and removed him ……he was stuck inside …holding a rock maybe ……

The moment I saw Prasad ….. I stoood rooted onto place ….. in fear .. eyes ,not wanting to believe what they just saw I was trying to compose myself ….. until my perceptions sensed reality …..

our worst of worst of fears ….. was true …..

I reached the place where Prasad was lying , some students came forward ,while I heard someone say … “ his heart is still beating ……“

Then and there ,we started pressing his chest , rubbing his hands , rubbing his feet , rubbing his temple ….

water was coming out of his mouth and nose ….

Sujay started mouth-to-mouth respiration by now , water came bubbling out of his mouth and nose again ….

we kept on doing these things ….. took turns ….. praying in our mind to Almighty to get him back to life ….soon …
But no sign of it ….. we continued ….long time …..long time ….

we had full hope put in ……. we shall get him back ….. shall get him back ……

I was there watching ….. doing …… these things ….

but as time passed by …. we realised it was long enough by now …

it was somewhere two hours since we got his body out of water …

Readers, you can only imagine as I say here, but you’ll must have realised what it was to be actually be here …..seeing ….doing ….trying …… its unexplainable in words ….
some students were so scared , some left the place , on their way back to bus …alogside the stream the same way we came ….

It was decided only a few would remain back, and rest others would walk upon to bus, back 9 kms.B’coz it would be dark by the time we reach back and others also would remain stranded. Ofcourse every parent would be impatient if their child comes late.

I was also told to leave , I couldn’t make up whether I shd stay back or should I walk . somewhat the feeling inside me was not to leave the place, eventually I had to ……

On the way all were silently walking .Everyone was thinking just one thing maybe, how did such a drastic thing happen ??

Seriously speaking , I couldnt walk, so did my friends .. it was a restless feling within ourselves ,legs would give up at times …

One question consumed me the whole way while walking, “ how is it that no one noticed him drowning ?? “

We reached the place where bus was waiting to leave , we checked to see if everyone was in bus other than the ones who remained back.

Audi, Joel , Myresh, Maya, Prajekta, Aditya,Gaurish, Harish, Altaf, Nikhil, Doke, Sudeesh,Sujay,Rama,Tushar, Sujay S, along with a faculty chose to stay back at the place …

There was no range down. so Jibhin, Sagar, had to climb the steep hill to call police ,ambulance and rescue team ….Jibhin called for the chopper , but we got a reply. “ there aren’t any pilots at present, not even emergency pilots “,

shame , utter shame … are you telling us there aren’t any pilots ?

In the evening , when wood was lit for fire, flock of wild honey bees attacked those who were present and they had to dive into water to save themselves from bee stings.They were in for about 45 minutes in chilled damn cold water. Luckily it rained, and the bees left the place all were safe …God saved them.

I dont mention many other small tragedies that took place , but it is insignificant I believe …..

We were all tired, silent and thinking inside the bus.

Shailesh and I got down the bus,we had Prasad’s bag and his bike keys with us.We took bike to hostel. I had to gather courage ,to open Prasad’s bag , to take something out ….. “THE PAGE THAT I WAS WRITING ON FOR MY BLOG “…it lay there in the first zip … the instant I it took out, I felt as if I am stealing away something … but then I wanted this , so that this reminds me ,of the times we both had together ……. the page will always be incomplete ….

Once I reached hostel,on top of terrace , lied back on the wall …. thinking … the invasion had just began ….. disillusioned ,I could see only darkness all around …..

One question that came back to me again and again endlessly , mocking me to find out …was …

” how did he actually drown ? and why is it that no one had seen him drowning ? “

It would be just a matter of seconds ….. I believe …that he drowned and no one couldnt notice … people put it out as ” TIME “. “It was his TIME to ……”

But I say to Lord Krishna, you took him near yourself very soon ….

Today I was there with him all the time …. we had got along so well and come so close to each other … suddenly my LORD you take him away from me …..

I feel guilty now , and will never cease to , thinking ” why did I not take him for lunch along with me,in the afternoon ….I should have waited … “

“

I ask the silent waters …..

I ask the breeze blowing upon …

I ask the huge rocks nearby …

I ask the trees nearby …

I ask the hill nearby ….

I ask the birds in sky ….

I ask the chirping crickets …

I ask the dry leaves falling ….

Is there anyone or anybody who can asnwer me ???? whom should I ask ????

Its like questions dipped in poison ….

burning with seeds of doubt …

helpless I turn to heavens …

But the silence is still too loud ….

The only one who can truthfully answer me is LORD himself … but he also chooses to remain silent ….

I screamed , top of my voice …… and then I seeked …. I searched for the answers in the echoes of my shout,

…….            ……                …..                ….                 …                       ..                 .

but …… why is it that no one seems to answer me ???????????

confused and angry I said to Lord , ” Krishna , You have so many good and pious people surrounding you , in heaven, You didnt have to take him near you , this way …You wipe out the sinners on this earth ….there are many of them …whom to point out ? there are many …..take them away ….. the world shall be a better place to live in then ….. take them the way you want …. but, there are good people in this world….. they are needed for a long time , for the near and dear ones …..he had come so close to me today, and suddenly you take him away ……I cannot handle ….are you listening to me ??????????? “

I think about all those bad people on the earth taking away innocent lives and making their asses safe ….

” You do one thing for me Krishna, send me to Hell … I am ready to commit no sin …but you send me to Hell …let me wipe out the filth there …. I’ll try …..give me a chance ….let me kick those devils but send me to Hell “

to all those sinners ……all those hide behind the walls …all those hide behind desks …all those hide in their mansions ….
“And I hope that you die, and your death will come soon
I’ll follow your casket, in the pale afternoon
And I’ll watch as your lowered, into your deathbed
And I’ll stand on your grave till I’m sure that your dead”

Sometime later, I walked down to room, just laid down …

I dont know when I slept …..

The next day I reached at Prasad’s place along with friends, Principal and Prof.Amonkar. I saw the rites being performed upon Prasad standing near … somehow the sight made me feel helpless within …

It was time to take Prasad on bamboo stretcher to the funeral pyre …as Prasad was being taken … I followed behind closely … until he was put in a tempo …

Here I stood, my defences was breaking up, and tears welled up in my eyes ….

these eyes ,had seen a life just turn into moments …. leaving behind snapshots of pain ….in memory …

The next day in college , condolence meet was held for our dear Prasad …. observing two minute silence ….

Now as I write this, and all such experiences I have been through in my life, comes as a flashback unto my mind ….. I realise the world is not as I percieve to be … Lord doesn’t seem to listen to me …nor to you …

I realise that ,as the mirrors of paradigm and life unfolds, I taste my fear in life’s battlefield’s …..

I have to stand to such potent, powerful conquests of pain , again and again and again ……..

So does each of you’ll , friends …

It is in this conquest ,that I offer my deepest condolences , to my friend Rashmi, Prasad’s family,Rashmi’s family,and relatives …
“I, my friends, students and faculty of my college, and others ,pray to GOD to give them enough courage and strength to tide over this extreme , irrepairable loss ….”

The ageless and timeless TRUTH , BHAGAVAD GITA, The Holy book tries to convince and comfort me in the end …. I share it with you all …..

“na jâyate mriyate vâ kadâcin

nâyam bhûtvâ bhavitâ vâ na bhûyah

ajo nityah sâsvato ‘yam purâno

na hanyate hanyamâne sarîre “

the above is the verse in Sanskrit , from Chapter 2, Text 20 of the Holy book, Bhagavad Gita …

Translation :

” For the soul, there is neither birth nor death at any time. He has not come into being, does not come into being, and will not come into being. He is unborn, eternal, ever-existing and primeval. He is not slain when the body is slain …..”